fifty-three stitches
and them saucy wooden girls.
slow down my love; you're confusing me. 
8th-Oct-2005 12:55 am
qui gon - pretty fly for a jedi




Just about everything is borrowed from Dilly, what with this RP we did of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan back in the day and her love of the way that Ewan's voice squeaks.



There were a great number of Jedi with near-human form: the majority of the Order, in fact, at almost any given time in its history had been bipedal. Two arms, two feet, a frontal presentation of the visual sensory units. There were certainly more exotic Jedi, such as Oppo Rancisis and other Thisspiasian Jedi, but Form IV was, for example, designed for an agile, legged form with a relatively high center of gravity. The initiate meditation form asked younglings to put their feet underneath them and balance their wrists on their knees.

Instructors would work accomodate non-standard physical types. Masters would take Padawans with physical types very different from their own, but at the end of the day, the majority of the Order was built on the same lines. Two arms, two legs, a torso. A face that looked fundamentally human.

It didn't mean that things were the same on the inside, though.

...

When Obi-Wan had been a Padawan for a little more than a decade or so, Qui-Gon lost his voice for a few weeks. It was only temporary, small compared to what else he'd survived and entirely due to damage to muscles controlling the voice box and some elements controlling his voice box. Not the result of nerve damage, easily repaired with bacta injections, and if really pressed, Qui-Gon could make a hoarse, raspy noise.

It would only last for a few days. The bacta injection that Qui-Gon had received and the compresses that he was to use each night should have him in order shortly.

"But we're supposed to go on a diplomatic mission in two days."

Obi-Wan could hear his voice squeaking. It was also rather loud in the low ceilings of the medic area; he'd been used to shouting to be heard over the low rumbling engine noise of their last posting, a fleet of rather noisy, old-fashioned Detterian patrol ships.

The medic droid did its equivalent of a shrug, and Obi-Wan opened his mouth to argue when he felt Qui-Gon's hand on his shoulder. The expression said to be quiet, and later, when they were back in their quarters, Qui-Gon used a composition tablet to indicate that he was fine with the mission schedule. Obi-Wan would just have to speak for his Master. Or handle things on his own.

Any negotiations would be short and relatively simple. An excellent practical mission for a senior Padawan, fine preparation for a future Knight.

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon, who was tapping the words into the tablet while he held the bacta compress to his throat. Qui-Gon had typed a word into the tablet incorrectly, and he wanted to correct it, but it seemed that the key interface was sticking. He frowned at it, shook the tablet a little, then pulled the compress away from his throat to make a raspy, quizzical noise. The tablet was beyond his ability to fix; he wanted Obi-Wan to take a look at it.

Qui-Gon had to be helped out of his robes. He made faces when he sat down because of the strain that it put on his legs, and he was currently leaning against the wall because his back muscles hadn't yet recovered enough to let him sit for extended periods of time under his own power. The lights in the room were kept dim, too, because Qui-Gon master's eyes were still sensitive to strong light.

Suddenly, it was hard for Obi-Wan to swallow around the lump in his throat,

...

Qui-Gon's vocal system actually looked nothing like what Obi-Wan thought it would look like. He wasn't particularly familiar, of course, with vocal systems looked like. They tended not to be part of battlefield medicine, and since Qui-Gon had a bump in his throat in approximately the same place that Obi-Wan did, he assumed that his master would have the same vocal apparatus as Obi-Wan did.

Different planets, though. Hyphenated names for both, true, blue visual sensory apparatuses for both, true, but their home planets were on opposite sides of the Republic.

The medic droid showed Obi-Wan the setup: instead of the single bone with the double bands of muscle inside, Qui-Gon had two separate bones, positioned on opposite sides of his throat. The bump that Obi-Wan saw and had assumed to be Qui-Gon's voicebox was actually a cartiliginous extension protecting the single band of tendon-like muscle underneath. Members of Qui-Gon's species were physically incapable of making noises in the register of Obi-Wan's squeaks; their choral music, for example, was all executed in the low registers.

Obi-Wan took a glance at the other parts of the anatomy imaging on Qui-Gon that the medical droid had pulled up for him -- these, he was more familiar with. Liver and pancreas in reversed positions, heart on the left side of the body and located below the lungs. In order to compensate up for the lower positioning and the fact that it had to pump blood upwards into the lungs, it was apparently significantly larger than Obi-Wan's own, sternum-covered one.

...

Obi-Wan remembered a trip to Harkesh. They were on the transport, and they were being housed in the cargo bay because it was a cargo ship and the crew was fly-by-night enough so that they weren't enthusiastic about Jedi sharing their quarters.

So they slept in blankets on the hard floor. Kept their robes on at night against the chill. Obi-Wan was coming back from fetching some hot water from the ships kitchen, and he saw a flash of what Qui-Gon had been studying before Qui-Gon put it away and started setting things out for their improvised tea on an upended cargo container: it had been an anatomical readout for Obi-Wan's species. Positioning of organs, statements on bone density. How to treat deep wounds. What constitued a mortal wound and what did not.

...

The worst injury that Obi-Wan had on Qui-Gon's watch was a broken arm. Obi-Wan had been almost twenty years old, seven years into being a Padawan, and Qui-Gon had field-set it in the approved, orthodox manner, then ordered him to take the calcium supplements needed to regrow the bone. Obi-Wan's particular flavor of near-human had, apparently, particularly low calcium reserves.

"I appear to have failed you, Padawan."

Obi-Wan lifted both of his eyebrows. He kept his cast close to the chest; there was an inner sheath of bacta swishing around inside it, and it would come off in a few days.

"Perhaps I have not been monitoring your diet closely enough. I understand that a calcium deficiency may, in your species, lead to growth hindrance."

"Master?"

"Shortness, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon seemed utterly serious; he sounded completely concerned and repentent.

"I believe it explains why you are so short."

Qui-Gon would occaisionally attempt to imitate the way that his Padawan squeaked in outrage. By his own admission, though, he never did a particularly good job of it.

...

"This is such a barbaric way of administering medication."

Qui-Gon was tired. They both were, and it had been a long day mediating negotiations, but at least Obi-Wan wasn't going to have an actual bit of metal inserted into his throat. He'd asked the medic droid whether there was a more humane or accurate way to do this, perhaps a diffusion spray, but the droid had been clear. If Master Qui-Gon wanted to avoid lasting damage to his vocal apparatus and if he also refused to remain in the full-immersion bacta tank, he would have to receive bacta injections on his throat while on mission. It was the only way to make sure that the bacta reached the muscles.

It was a very small needle, all things considered, the medic droid had told him. Very narrow. An easy injection. It wasn't all that difficult, given the structure of Qui-Gon's throat, and Obi-Wan was getting to not mind it, if not enjoy it. It was one of the few times during the day that Qui-Gon would let himself be taken care of. He insisted on putting his robes on himself; he insisted on sitting for long hours bolt upright in the negotiations room when there was no reason to.

After getting the bacta injection for the night, though, Qui-Gon would let Obi-Wan make a soothing tea. Settle an extra robe around his shoulders. Bacta made him sleepy and agreeable, it seemed, and he would have them while sitting on the edge of his chair. He'd tilt his head back, close his eyes and turn his head so that Obi-Wan could find the spot for the injection.

He found it, swabbed it with an antispetic wipe, then gave it a few moments for the antispetic agent to evaporate.

There was a little bit of a night breeze blowing through the room -- Odara was a cool, maritime planet -- and they had the windows open. Qui-Gon made a face when the breeze touched the damp spot on his neck. It would feel cold, Obi-Wan supposed.

"Perhaps, next time, you will think twice about rushing into a combat situation like that, Master," Obi-Wan said.

He bent down to give Qui-Gon the shot, but then Qui-Gon opened his eyes, and he looked straight into Obi-Wan's face. His expression didn't change, but it was something about the eyes, the expression there. There was no remorse, not even a hint that he regretted what he had done, and Obi-Wan was suddenly so angry that his hands started to shake.

They had to delay the bacta injection for twenty minutes until Obi-Wan had mastered himself.

...

Qui-Gon had been taken captive by the pirates. It bought the hostages time, given Obi-Wan a chance to track the pirates back to their central gathering point since Qui-Gon was carrying a transmitter, and the pirates weren't technologically sophisticated enough to find the tracker, but the pirates had belonged to a species that housed their circulatory centers in their throats. They had beaten Qui-Gon. Then, they'd tortured Qui-Gon by taking all the skin off his back and arms, inch by inch.

When they smashed his throat, they thought that they were killing him and putting him out of his crippled misery.

Obi-Wan arrived with the planetary cavalry, the local space navy, in time to see the pirates arranged around the room in a loose circle, staring dumbfounded at the Jedi who refused to die.

...

When Qui-Gon was teaching Obi-Wan about the finer points of lightsaber use in the field, they had discussed the killing move. Obi-Wan had never actually killed anyone on combat, and they were having a bit of discussion about where, exactly, to strike. Qui-Gon cheerfully admitted that there really wasn't a way to know for sure. You just looked at your opponent, did your best guess at his species and where his vitals were located.

"If you wanted to debilitate me, for example," Qui-Gon had said. "Where would you strike?"

"Er." Obi-Wan had the feeling that he was staring. "Um."

This had not been in the homework reading.

"No, it wasn't in the homework reading, Obi-Wan. It's also something of a trick question." Qui-Gon sounded amused, and Obi-Wan managed to look up and give his Master a weakish smile.

"It doesn't really matter with a lightsaber since I'd be dead if you caught me anywhere in the torso. Remember that, Obi-Wan. Lightsabers carry enough disruptive energy that if you come even close to a major organ, you stand a substantial chance of disrupting function."

Qui-Gon paused.

"Though I suppose the most efficient place on me would be here." He gestured to his side. Obi-Wan followed the gesture with his eyes.

"It's where my heart is, Obi-Wan. You'd kill me eventually if you got me in the liver or the pancreas, but this is the quickest place."

They moved on to other subjects then, but the lecture would come back to Obi-Wan years later, when he wondered whether the Sith had been able to deduce Qui-Gon's species quickly enough to intentionally make his killing move there or whether it had just been a lucky guess.
Comments 
8th-Oct-2005 07:11 am (UTC)
This was so different! guh! It doesnt even need slash - Id just keep reading and reading because its so interesting.

"Shortness, Obi-Wan. I believe it explains why you are so short."

Qui-Gon would occaisionally attempt to imitate the way that Obi-Wan squeaked in outrage, but by his own admission, he never did a particularly good job of it.


Ah, I loved this.
8th-Oct-2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
Ahahah. *__________* The notion of how different Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are, man. It's really motherfucking interesting, I think.

Stop crying, woobie Jedi Master. *nudges your icon*
8th-Oct-2005 09:46 am (UTC)
I liked this. Disjointed, as you warned, but it actually sort of works in a weird way. Sometimes I like fics that randomly jump around in time. This is a very unique and interesting view into things, and I like unique and interesting views. :D
8th-Oct-2005 02:52 pm (UTC) - *tickles Qui-Gon omg*
Glad you liked, man. This fic just flopped straight from brain to the page even more so than the regular fic, and yeah. I'm incapable of writing a straight narrative story. It was supposed to be one of my goals for this summer, but I just don't know how to cram everything I want in the story if I write it from beginning to end. *___________*
8th-Oct-2005 08:23 pm (UTC) - Re: *tickles Qui-Gon omg*
Homg, I need more Qui-Gon icons. And Dooku icons. *frowns at lack of them*

Really? That's interesting. I come up with scenes out of order in my head, but I write straight narrative, even if I'm jumping around in time on purpose. Except for when I don't, then I wind up copying and pasting into the order I want. I can't decide which of us is more weird. XD

But very, very interesting. I already said that, didn't I? I really do like the unusual twist of them being near-human, or differences in human evolution. Very cool.
8th-Oct-2005 08:54 pm (UTC) - Re: *tickles Qui-Gon omg*
Oh, I'm definitely weirder. It's pretty much well-established that I'm a big freakface sloppy idiot; Dilly's spent the better part of the past year or so trying to teach me how to get a little more structure/craft in my writing, but yeah. You'd think that putting things in the order that they happen would come naturally, but no, I can't do it to save my life.

I suspect that the differnece between your writing mechanics and mine stem, in part, from a different degree of interest in the present. You take a definite interest in showing what's going on, what people are saying, all the little bits and parts of the story that exist right now. Your characterization tends to be far more contained within occuring events; story coherence, from what I've seen, comes from occurrance within a rolling time frame. It's a good, classic, clean way to tell a story.

Me, though, the present is just a handy little conceit that I can use to set up stories about the past and the future. The only thing that makes the little chunks hang together is, like, the muttering in the back of my head. :/
9th-Oct-2005 10:59 pm (UTC) - Re: *tickles Qui-Gon omg*
Hee. You and Luthe have something in common. She writes a lot like that. We're doing a fic collab, and it's interesting to learn someone else's writing process. I love to find out how other people do it, because I'm convinced I'm doing it wrong. XD Fic collabs are kinda fun, especially since Luthe writes minimalist, simple, and concise, and I don't. So we sorta balance each other out and fight over what gets to stay in. She's trying to beat my pretentious prose tendencies out of me. f's spent the better part of the year just trying to get me to use correct verb tenses and weed out adverbs, so you're far more advanced than me. :S

Stupid verb tenses.

Ahahahaha, I guess I am more of a present moment kind of person, but go overboard in showing what everyone's doing. In your writing, you focus on little bits here and there that seem random, and then you tie them up. Even in the above, you still tied your threads together very well. I like your way better, I'm too much into the moment -- but alas, it's how I write and think, and can't change that. (My ability to live in the moment would make Qui-Gon proud. XD)
8th-Oct-2005 10:27 am (UTC)
Instructors would work accomodate non-standard physical types.

I think you're missing a word in there, somewhere?

But, guh. You HAVE to stop shocking me with random encounters of torture! (I can't say 'unexpected', because you hint at it at it all over the place. "Ladidaaa, Qui-Gon lost his voice. Ladidaaa, Qui-Gon can't sit comfortably." I'm not sure I buy Qui-Gon going on a mission when he's in such bad state. If it had just been his voice, sure, but recovering skin tissue all over his body? There are points in diplomatic misions where it's politer to stay at home and send someone else!)

I critique only because I love so much. :D COMPARING HUMAN EVOLUTION YAY. *So* interesting, and I'm deliriously happy to see this explored outside of excuses supporting the possibility of mpreg. 8) The republic is big, each planet is its own closed open-system (if that makes sense)which would lead to regionalized differentiation. Though with that in mind, why did it take so long for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to study the differences in each other's anatomy? And, hey, does this mean that they're too genetically incompatible to reproduce together? Or that their kids would be like mules, not able to have children of their own? Wait, I don't do mpreg.

There's a good character-interaction quality to this fic too, but I can't quite put my finger on it, so I'll leave it at: you made me happy to read Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan genfic. A feat, that. ^_^
8th-Oct-2005 02:44 pm (UTC) - dlkfjg AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg an Obi-Qui mule. *wipes tears from eyes*
ladkjfadfhahah. "Excuse me, sir. I'm going to step away for a moment because I believe that my robe is fusing to the raw surface of my back. Don't mind the screaming; that'll just be my Padawan forcibly separating the two. :> Please continue neogotiation! :>"

Yeah. I think the idea was thatQui-Gon and Obi-Wan had studied those bits of each other's anatomy that were likely to get messed up in battle, but they hadn't really studied those parts that weren't -- Obi-Wan knew where Qui-Gon's major arteries were, but he hadn't paid attention to Qui-Gon's voice box, and he also hadn't realized the degree to which Qui-Gon didn't care about preserving his body because that wasn't likely to be something that would be changed due to fighting.

And ahahahah. OMG. Qui-Gon is rather messed up, isn't he? It would totally have been smarter if he'd STAYED HOME and LET HIS PADAWAN TAKE CARE OF HIM, but I think the original idea was that he refused to stay home because he didn't think that he would ever really die. And something about how the bacta would take care of surface stuff like skin regeneration easy, but it couldn't fix what was wrong withiiiiiiiin drama drama drama.

But yeah. There's a lot of stuff that I was super-lazy on and didn't communicate on very well, so the story reads all funny and awkward and "Uh, why is that?" Thank you so, so,so much, man, for sticking with it and taking the time to think about it in detail like that.

And God, you're right. There's not enough meta about SW physiology outside of mpreg, though OH MAN, a little hybrid Obi-Qui with Qui-Gon's size and mismatched chromosomes and Obi-Wan's fuzzy hair would be ldkjf;laighdlfj cute.
9th-Oct-2005 02:12 am (UTC) - Re: dlkfjg AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg an Obi-Qui mule. *wipes tears from eyes*
think the original idea was that he refused to stay home because he didn't think that he would ever really die. And something about how the bacta would take care of surface stuff like skin regeneration easy, but it couldn't fix what was wrong withiiiiiiiin drama drama drama.

See, what needs to go INTO the fic. D: It'd make the fic better than ever! It'd be fascinating. (Though I disagree; would Qui-Gon really think that he wouldn't ever die? He seemed so... accepting of his death. Worried that his Last Task wouldn't be completed, but not panicked at his own death. So he'd have to have come to terms with it, and not be in denial.)

I think the idea was thatQui-Gon and Obi-Wan had studied those bits of each other's anatomy that were likely to get messed up in battle, but they hadn't really studied those parts that weren't

I can see that. Since I read the fic over only once, it may be my own fault, but I wasn't clear on what Obi-Wan had known from the beginning and what he learned later.
8th-Oct-2005 12:50 pm (UTC)
This is a very intriguing subject for me. Over at sith_chicks yahoogrouplist, I got into a bit of debate with an author of "furry" fic who had written a huge epic set in GFFA, but adding all sorts of extra species that are apparently well known in that other fandom, and not to be substituted for Lucas-friendly existing ones. I have seen Qui-Obi fics where Qui-Gon's being another type of humanoid was a big deal, (especially when it came to how he got an erection wouldncha know)so it's a natural fit to the Q/O tradition, you could say.

My own fave species atm is Lepi, but I am not above Obi-Dex, or Bothan-human, not at all. Think, too, of the poor Jedi in the New Jedi order who are the last of their species, like Saba...where will they take comfort, and how?
11th-Oct-2005 01:31 am (UTC)
This? Fabulous. How do you do these two so that I love them? Me, who never had a fond thought about Qui-Gon in her life. It's one of those mysteries of life, obviously.

I love the comparative anatomy. I love the relationship between them, and the way you show it in snatches of physical damage. I love the working-Jedi. Just grand.
12th-Oct-2005 02:38 pm (UTC)
You know, I tell people that I would have gotten into Star Wars much, much earlier instead of my present belated age if only Lucas had made the prequels first. As grand and redemptive as IV-VI are, my God, old school Jedi and the Old Republic are the BEST THINGS EVER. EVER.

And ahah. I suspect I've fluffed up their relationship unneessarily to recover from the trauma of TPM. Poor Obi-Wan. Poor, poor Obi-Wan.
11th-Oct-2005 07:41 am (UTC)
I do love it when people inject actual science fiction into Star Wars -- the idea that there are several 'human' species that look a lot alike, but are anatomically and psysiologically different is rarely explored (though Marag's "Growth" is hilarious in exploring the possible difference between social adulthood and physical adulthood).

Also, I'm amused that Qui-Gon is basically an Earth human, and Obi-Wan is not.
12th-Oct-2005 02:41 pm (UTC)
Ahahah. Yeah? God, I must've fucked up the anatomy something fierce because Obi-Wan was supposed to be Earth human and Qui-Gon was supposed to be the non-human. I like your way better, though -- there's something cool about having a fic from the POV of a stealth-alien like that.

And God. Ever since I started reading SWfic, I've been WONDERING why everybody assumes that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are the same damn species. Sure, I've seen a couple of mpregs and one fic where they riffed on the hyphenation thing, but really, people. This is the Old Republic, after all. Tens of thousands of systems! Thousands of species!
12th-Oct-2005 03:24 pm (UTC)
I think it was the heart position that made me assume that you meant for Qui-Gon to be Earth-human. Us Earth humans have hearts that are slightly on the left, which are enclosed in the ribcage yet not really under the sternum, and can be considered 'under' the lungs, depending on whether 'under' is consider dorsal-ventrally or cerebral-caudally.

I've seen a couple of MPREGs too (Bren Antrim's one is FUNNY and gets into the idea that there are more than two possible genders out there) but very few people get into all the possibilities that SF should allow you.

The name hyphenation thing just makes me think that many Jedi are renamed when they joined the Order. Ben (Lars? I still like that idea, even if Lucas has tried to joss it) is given to the Jedi, he's renamed Obi-Wan Kenobi, because that name has meaning to the Jedi. Qui-Gon's birth name would likewise be different; he was probably called Quentin Geraint or something, you know?
12th-Oct-2005 07:11 pm (UTC) - <3 the name Geraint. <3.
Care to point me to Antrim's? I looked at her site, but I couldn't pick out which one was hte MPREG one right-off.

And ahah. Christ, see, this is the difference between me having had one human physiology class five years ago and somebody who actually knows their shit because I'd entirely forgotten about the dorsal-ventral arrangement. Good job, Rhod. :D The big giveaway was supposed to be the voicebox structure, but uh. I like the idea of Obi-Wan being the alien better anyways, so. *clears throat, looks around shifty*

I've read your thoughts about the re-naming, and yeah, it's an interesting idea to play with. It explains to some degree, I think, the difference between names like Secura's, etc, compared to the seeming uniformity of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi and (comparatively) Mace Windu.

Thar be fic in the re-naming those babies. I mean, even thinking about their language -- are they in Basic? Are we thinking of Basic words as mapping onto English? Are they not Basic? Are they historical names? Scads of fic in each permutation.

I've missed your posts and comments, by the way. <3 Glad to see you back around.
12th-Oct-2005 07:56 pm (UTC) - Re: <3 the name Geraint. <3.
It's Family Over Fate, which I love. Partly for the intrasexuality, partly because Anakin can not shut up at all (he's much too honest and guileless, and it's just FUN.)

somebody who actually knows their shit because I'd entirely forgotten about the dorsal-ventral arrangement.

It's not your fault that I was trained as a zoologist and used to teach Human Anatomy to pre-nursing students.

Thar be fic in the re-naming those babies.

Oh yeah. Especially since 'Kenobi' means 'sword belt' and 'Qui-Gon' comes from 'qi gong' -- the Chinese philosophy of life energy manipulation.

Somehow I doubt that those are common names out in the general Republic population, nor are the other names that imply 'light' or 'power'.

I'm thinking that the Jedi give out names to most of their younglings that are in some archaic language that is the 'classic' language of the Republic -- names that mean specific Jedi-ish things. They might keep the surnames or not, but the given names go 'poof' for everyone who isn't from a powerful enough family to put conditions on their transferal to the Jedi Order.

Which leads into my theory that the Republic aristocracy can and does put conditions down when *their* children are given to the Order, rather like European nobility did when their children were sent to religious orders. No sense in letting the heir to a Countship forget who he was (which explains Dooku, and Xanatos in the EU). It's the commoners' children who get their identity wiped away.

And yes, the name 'Geraint' is pretty nifty. I really think Qui-Gon was named something else by his family, and the Jedi gave him that name because it fit better with their culture and yet sounded similar enough that a young child would learn to respond to it quickly. The same with Ben/Obi-Wan.
17th-Oct-2005 02:21 am (UTC)
Anonymous
Regarding the renaming thing - I always thought it was the other way around, with people born into privilege having their names and possibly memories taken away. Especially since Dooku and Xanatos both appear to have only the single name that I can tell, which is fairly unique for human Jedi. With most aristocracy, there'd be at least a family name.

Another example is Whie Malreaux from Yoda: Dark Rendezvous - in the temple only his first name is used, and neither he nor his Master have any idea he's aristocracy until someone tells him.
17th-Oct-2005 02:13 pm (UTC)
Do you really think the Jedi would name people 'poison'(Dooku) and 'death'(Xanatos)?
17th-Oct-2005 04:02 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
All those earth-etymology meanings are very meta. In-universe, there's no indication that sort of thing is noticed. Does Lucas stick it in? Sure. And it shows things about their characters. But to the characters themselves it shouldn't mean anything at all.

Do you think Random Aristocratic Parents would be more likely to name their darlings poison or death?
17th-Oct-2005 04:15 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I do. I'd assumed that 'Dooku' was a surname or a regnal name. The Jedi names we have all meaning things, from 'sword belt' to 'poison' to 'life energy manipulation'.

And nobility have named themselves to imply formidableness for millenia.
15th-Oct-2005 05:27 pm (UTC)
*wibbles* Last line caught me by surprise.

Interesting thoughts about the differing humanoid species. :)
30th-Mar-2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
Hi! Sorry to bother you with such a late comment on your story (which, by the way, is extremely good, and I think the way the time shifts are incorporated into it actually aide in the build up to the rather tragic ending, since we get an explanation for what probably happened when that blow was given in a slower build up, this way, rather than all at once). But this is, I think, the only SW story I've ever read where Qui-Gon was specifically depicted as near-human with different characteristics in his physical anatomy than is found among human norms (and that probably says something about how many other stories I've missed reading in the fandom), and I'd lost my link to it and had to be repointed to it to find it again. I'm commenting here because I'd like to ask permission to point folks to this story, if anyone ever asks me where the idea came from for my Qui-Gon to be a near-human instead of human. He's not the same variety of near-human as yours is (in fact, I have him originating on a world where the abundance of water has caused adaptations mainly to the lungs, density of subcutaneous fat, density of bones, and the cycle and speed of maturity for the species), but I'm not sure it would have ever occurred to me that he could be near-human if I hadn't read a story where someone else wrote him as such, first, and made it clear that the near-human designation actually means something, physically, and not just that he's from one specific planet (as seems to be the case with the Korun and the Kiffar). I'd like to be able to acknowledge your story as having had an influence on my thought process, even if my thoughts went in a different kind of direction with the same basic idea, so if you could let me know if that would be alright, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much!
31st-Mar-2008 03:21 am (UTC)
Ahah. No worries about ever leaving me feedback or pointing people to my fic. How could I ever be displeased with those things? Although it's going to take me a while to get to each of your comments if they're all as lovely and involved this.

(I hate to disappoint, but I actually stole the near-human thing from the Star Wars website or something. They list his race as near-human, I think, and I was just like. Hm. That would be something to play with because, really, why in the name of God WOULD Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan be exactly the same species as each other?)

So if you still want to
31st-Mar-2008 03:51 am (UTC)
Er, that last sentence was supposed to be, "So if you still want to, you're welcome to link. XD"
31st-Mar-2008 11:58 pm (UTC)
*Grins* Still want to, yes. I'd certainly never come across the idea before anywhere else and darned if I've ever noticed it mentioned anywhere like the SW Wiki (where I double-check most of my facts on folks and planets and all things SW, in case my wee brain has forgotten any details from the movies or books and such) before, either, so as far as I'm concerned, at least, this fic was the first place I ever saw such a notion, though now that you've brought it up, why should they (or Anakin or anyone else for that matter) necessarily be the same species or close enough to the same kind of biological variant of near-human species that it wouldn't make a difference?
28th-Jun-2009 01:42 am (UTC)
Hi, extremely tardy here, but this was an excellent fic with all our preconceptions about Obi and Qui's species thrown out cheerily. Something that makes this even better is the science behind it, center of gravity, etc., yet a giving a large nod to the bipedal norm. Sigh, and a comment mentioned Antrim's mpreg, a genre that I couldn't resist myself. Fine story!
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